A New Meal Plan

Decades ago, with good intentions, my parents signed me up for the biggest college meal plan available. I was about to start my second year of school, and I was going to live in the dorms again. A few weeks before school started my parents sat me down with the school’s meal plan brochure open. They wanted to know if I thought I needed two meals a day or three.

Three immediately came out of my mouth. 

Three was better because it was more—is what I was thinking.

School started and I eased back into college life, which for me was a lot of socializing, a lot of studying, a lot of eating and a little bit of sleeping.

Each morning I’d turn off my alarm and the first thing I’d do was run off to the cafeteria to get breakfast-to-go. There was never a long line and I could choose up to 7 items. Our options were sausage and egg McMuffins, a few different types of bagels, packets of cream cheese, yogurts, apples, oranges and fruit juices. Even though I didn’t have to take 7 items, I always did. 

Because—just in case. Just in case I wouldn’t have time to go back for lunch. 

Just in case I didn’t like dinner (I always liked dinner). 

I’d remind myself that since my parents had paid for it, it would be wasteful not to get the 7 items, regardless of whether I was hungry for them or not.

Because more was more—right? 

Once back to my dorm room with a full bag of breakfast items, I’d tell myself I was only going to eat 2 things, and that I’d save the rest for later. 

I’d start with the sausage and egg McMuffin. 

And then I’d pause for a brief moment, look at the other items in my bag, have an internal debate, and then keep going until there wasn’t anything left. Oh, I wanted to stop and I’d tell myself to stop, but I didn’t know how.

So morning after morning I’d eat everything in one sitting.

And then I’d make sure to hit the cafeteria for lunch and dinner, each day, too.

At the time the food pyramid recommended 6-11 servings of bread, cereal, rice and pasta. Without trying I was following the recommendations pretty closely, yet I was gaining more and more weight.

One late morning after eating everything and feeling both stuffed and frustrated I looked outside my second story dorm room window. I saw two new friends ride by on their bikes below. These boys were gregarious and fun and cute and I enjoyed hanging out with them. They stopped at the outdoor telephone and I saw one of them pick up the phone. A moment later my phone started to ring. They were calling me! I panicked. I couldn’t pick up. I had just eating hundreds of calories and I didn’t want anyone to see me. So I didn’t pick up. The phone rang and rang and then I saw them hang up. My phone stopped ringing. In the painful silence, I saw them hop on their bikes and ride away. 

I went into my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. 

Why wasn’t I on my bike laughing and having fun with them?

What was wrong with me? 

Why couldn’t I stop eating? 

Who was this person I had become? 

That moment has stayed with me all these years. 

I wish I could say that a lightbulb went off at that moment and I stopped eating those breakfast foods that were weighing me down cold turkey. But I didn’t. I didn’t know then what I know now.

Those foods were clutter in my body.

I didn’t realize it at the time but I was completely addicted. 

Everything I was eating was sugar or was converting to sugar and today we know that sugar is 8 times as addictive as cocaine. It’s our biology to want and crave sugar. We’re genetically programmed to prefer and crave high-calorie foods over all others. When we eat sugar it stimulates a dopamine release which feels really good. 

I struggled with my weight the entire school year.

And I hated my body the entire time.

Things did end up getting better. Summer came and I moved off-campus. All of a sudden I no longer relied on the school’s meal plan. I had my own kitchen and a grocery store not too far away.

I still bought bagels and sweetened yogurt, thinking that these foods were healthy, but I also bought more vegetables, good fats and healthy proteins. I no longer had the thought that I needed to eat it all by the end of the day or I’d be wasting money. I stopped thinking about food so much and my weight leveled off. I started to feel like myself again.

Today, decades later, I’m on a very different meal plan. 

There isn’t any clutter. It’s intentionally delicious, and the foods I eat flood me with energy and clarity. I’ve released my extra weight and I’m living light.

What about you? 

Would you like to liberate yourself from some of the clutter in your diet? Release the foods that are getting in the way of your potential? The ones that are filling you with shame? 

Ready to embrace the idea that less of the bad stuff might mean more of the good stuff? Like more energy, freedom and peace? 

If so, it might be time to sign up for a new meal plan.